I was talking with a friend after church on Sunday about our impatience for spring to arrive. Everything about this winter has been harsh. Freezing cold temperatures still have a deadlock on March, with scant hope for warm weather coming anytime soon. My friend has three children, one in grade school and two in high school, and they are so impatient for winter to end. We were commenting on how excited they were for the season to change.
I remember that excitement. Back when the world was new (to me), each season brought it's own energy. I loved spring. Everything was bursting with new life, including me. I once saw cows let out of the neighbors' barn after having been pent up all winter. They did just as the Bible says. They literally lept into the air with joy. "And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall." Malachi 4:2. I will never forget the sight of those huge animals with all four hooves off the ground. Now that was a celebration!
I loved summer. Freedom!! I loved fall....school, bonfires, football. I tolerated winter, but still, Christmas, snowforts, sledding...those things were exciting, too. I remember those fun times both as a child and again when my children were growing up.
My anticipation these days seems muted. My blood still stirs with the arrival of a new season, but when I look at my children's and grandchildren's eyes I see a sparkle that once had been in mine as well. I have to remind myself that the new season is still just that to the young. It is new .... and exciting. I have run the cycle so many times now that unless I force myself to pay attention, I can easily miss the transition. I can miss the joy.
Two of my sisters used to live nearby. They both moved about twenty years ago, and I still miss having them around. I especially miss them when the seasons change. So, what used to be pure anticipation, now has a tinge of loss. I have become less enamered of this world as I draw closer to the next, but I am not sure that is the right way to approach this wonderful gift of life. For now, God wants me here so I should participate to the fullest until the day I die.
A "Younger" Me